Wednesday, March 4, 2015

If A=B and B=C

I'm not the first parent of a child with special needs to write about ending the R-word.

I've seen many beautiful, touching and vulnerable posts from parents and loved ones of a person with special needs appealing to the world to stop using such a hurtful word. Almost every one of these appeals brings me to tears because I love these people and I know the pain they are talking about, the pain this word causes.

The other thing that nearly brings me to tears is that undoubtedly there are people who continue to defend their use of this word even after hearing our pleas. People who don't care about the personal stories being shared, who refuse to hear that for some of us this word truly does bring pain, people who continue to defiantly use this word with pride. 

I've never experienced the type of attachment to a word these people apparently have for the R-word. It baffles me. It saddens me. It infuriates me.

So, because of people like that, I am NOT going to write a heart wrenching plea to the world about the R-word.  I am NOT going to tell you about my amazing daughter and how using the R-word perpetuates a negative stereotype about the most beautiful and vulnerable people among us.  Nope, I am NOT going to do it.

Instead, I am going to SHOW you how using the R-word is lousy using basic math. 
That's right, I'm not going to do anything, math is going to do the work for me.

The transitive property of equality (sounds fancy but it's not, I'm not that good at math) tells us that:

If: A=B and B=C, then A=C.   

There you go! That's it. Math just showed us why we should not use the R-word.

 Let me explain further in case you aren't following. 

For this particular equation:

A= A Person with Special Needs
B= the word Retarded
C= bad, stupid, dumb, messed up, mistake, undesirable, etc...

Soooo, according to the transitive property of equality (I like saying that, it makes me feel smart):

(A) A person with special needs = (B) Retarded (I know some will argue this isn't used anymore, but the whole point of this equation is that this WAS at one time the meaning of this word)

(B) Retarded =  (C) bad, stupid, mistake, undesirable, etc... (how it is most often used now days)

(A) A person with special needs = (C) bad, stupid, mistake, undesirable, etc.... 

Is this making sense?

Here is a picture for visual learners:

See how that works? See what math is saying to us?

It is not ME asking you not to use the R-word because it insults people with special needs, it is math showing you how using the R-word insults people with special needs. 

It doesn't really matter if you continue to think using the R-word is okay, because math is telling you it's not. Math is telling it is kind of a crummy thing to keep doing.

And it doesn't really matter if you claim you didn't "mean it" like that, because the transitive property of equality is math, it doesn't care about what you mean! 
It exists outside of intent.   

Math can be brutal right?!?!

A cool thing about this equation is it can be used for other terms as well, not just the R-word! I made this handy table to you show you what I mean, I'm helpful like that, I want math to make sense for all!

If A=B
And B=C
Then A=C
If a person with special needs =
And if Retarded                         =
Bad, stupid, mistake, etc.
Then a person with special needs 
Bad, stupid, mistake, etc
If a person who is homosexual =
And if Gay                               
Bad, stupid, mistake, etc.
Then a person who is homosexual =
Bad, stupid, mistake, etc
If a person who cannot walk   =
And if Lame
Bad, stupid, mistake, etc.
Then a person who cannot walk 
Bad, stupid, mistake, etc

I hope this is making sense now... I find examples and tables to be very helpful. 

So what have we learned from our math lesson today? 

Well, we've learned that if A=B and B=C then A=C 
and we've also learned that
If you keep using the R-word after reading this blog, then you are a douchebag!  

Plug that into the table above and see how it works out. Thank you!

#spreadthewordtoendtheword #rword #respect


  1. Hey Laurie, Excuse me for posting my message here. I tried to find you on google plus because i wanted to post an update. I would love to see you do an update yourself in our group.
    You are invited to the public visible community H.C.H. Hemp and Cannabis for Health. ( ) With *Private section* ( ) where we allow pics/vids of cannabis / plant/leaves or buds in contrast with the public section where this is not allowed due international laws and our members in Malaysia, China and Iran. *Yes please share our group* with your circles. Please read the " about us " before you post ;

    With regards,
    Jeroen van der Bergh den Dulck
    Tilburg, The Netherlands, Europe
    The Dutch Independent Patient
    Cannabis Around Nations - non profit
    Hemp and Cannabis for Health

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.