I asked my mom how she responded to this story which sounded very sad and her answer surprised me, "Well," she said, "I told her, 'I understand, we ask the very same question: Why God? Why?'"
This threw me off for a second because this did not sound like my mom or the way my mom usually talks about Julia. But she went on...
"But I told her, we ask 'Why?' for a different reason. We ask 'Why God did you pick our family to receive such a blessing? Why God did you see us as worthy of your beautiful gift? Why God did you chose to change our lives in such a magnificent way through Julia? Why God? Why? What did we ever do to deserve her?'"
|"Mimi and Jules" photo by Steve Stanton|
My heart nearly stopped beating.
Here was my precious mom, the woman who raised me and prepared me for this role, standing in her kitchen in front of me, speaking the most beautiful and important truths into me about who God is and how He cares for us. And reminding me, once again, that God is so good at loving us in far better ways than we could ever imagine, but we have to be willing to adjust our eyes to see it.
And I can imagine as I write this, how to some stranger's ears my sweet mom's words could sound like super religious, "church-y" jargon, or perhaps they could sound arrogant, like "look at how good we are doing with this whole thing, do it like us." But I promise that is not the case. Her words were genuine. Honest words from a humble and wise woman who feels blessed beyond her wildest imagination through the life of her little granddaughter. And she is grateful. Nothing more. Simply grateful.
Her honesty and gratitude are the result of realizing that being needed is not the burden our culture makes it out to be. And that dependency is not a curse. To be needed gives us purpose. Caring for another is when we are most alive. God gave us Julia and in doing so made all of us more fully alive.
How can that be anything but a blessing?
Why God? Why? What did we ever do to deserve her?